The Sacred Temple of the Squished Ant

Ants are amazing creatures. Pick one up and hurl it across the room - it will pick itself up and continue on its way. Drop an ant from a two story building onto concrete - it will pick itself up and continue on its way. Take a single, lone ant in the world, and it is lost. Take a community of ants, and they can build bridges, solve problems, grow and prosper. If you squish an ant with your finger, his brethren will carry him back to the nest to rejoin the cycle of life. This is the philosophy of our order.

The Sacred Temple of the Squished Ant is a powerful order whose mission is to reveal enlightenment to all who choose to seek our path of righteousness. Our members are located nationwide and have shaped politics, communities, and doctrine. In our remote mountaintop temple compound, we foster the spiritual growth of all individuals by exposing the path to truth. This is accomplished by providing a total environment to accentuate spiritual growth and personal development in all facets of life.

Your cult staff

• Spiritual Leader: Mach
• Goddess of Goo: Kiki
• Events Coordinator and Petty Complaints: Elainie
• High Priestess, Rituals and Divination: auntyem
• Officer in charge, Polygamy and Hedonism: Iba
• Culinary Chef: Drumstick
• Prophetess: Cassandra
• Sociological Crowd Control: eeyore
• Chant Lead: Riddler
• Original Musical Score: Omphaloske
• Tithe collector: trieger
• Sacrificial Victim: mower
• Druggie : Prozac`
• Cult Barber: judd
• Illuminated: Ettore Volta
• Potato Priestess: MaryAnn-
• Diazinon dealer: rubbrduck

To become a bretheren of the Sacred Temple of the Squished Ant, send email to kenrick@acm.org. You will be whisked away to our remote temple, where you will be issued your own robe and hood and your path to nirvana will begin.

More information to follow at a later date.